Is it just me, or is it all Pisceans?

I realized I had masochistic tendencies years ago, but still can't get over them. I just realized I'm actually addicted to suffering. I realized this for the first time when a guy I was sort of starting to "fall" for suddenly showed signs of honest interest in me, and, to my surprise, I completely lost interest in him! Then I realized I actually thrive on heartache. Happiness would be boring to me!
Because there's no tension!

This might be justified by my upbringing and all, but I'm wondering if any of you feel the same..and not just in matters of love, but everything else..like..success in getting what you want. there were times in my life when I actually had to "chop my own feet from under me"-to put it like that-just before I was about to reach my goal, because I was afraid the tension would end, and I'd be lost!