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I don't intend this thread to turn out as a cancer bashing one ! but.. I've just experienced my first ever connection with a cancer and it was incredibly strong and amazing... the only problem is::::
every cancer I've known myself and through friends and family have ALWAYS LEFT the relationship- and usually after it's become very serious (i.e after marriage).
Now I know that this is an obvious generalisaion and all relationships that do end need to be instigated by one person however my experience of people I've known who've had someone leave them that someone is usually a cancer.
Or on the other hand, it's usually my cancer friends that are breaking up with their partners. Eg my cancer friend broke up with his scorp gf after ages of dating and the list goes on..
The reason I"m asking is that given these obserations I've become very cautious never to enter into a relationship with one.. And then this connection came along
Your thoughts?
ps as some of you already know I"m in a relationship with a scorp and there has been no cheating on him with this cancer guy, we just met at a bar last week and the connection was intense
every cancer I've known myself and through friends and family have ALWAYS LEFT the relationship- and usually after it's become very serious (i.e after marriage).
Now I know that this is an obvious generalisaion and all relationships that do end need to be instigated by one person however my experience of people I've known who've had someone leave them that someone is usually a cancer.
Or on the other hand, it's usually my cancer friends that are breaking up with their partners. Eg my cancer friend broke up with his scorp gf after ages of dating and the list goes on..
The reason I"m asking is that given these obserations I've become very cautious never to enter into a relationship with one.. And then this connection came along
Your thoughts?
ps as some of you already know I"m in a relationship with a scorp and there has been no cheating on him with this cancer guy, we just met at a bar last week and the connection was intense
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sat, June 27, 2009 - 1:39 PMIDK what to tell you Lucia..... I have been in numerous relationships with Cancers... have several friends and coworkers who are Cancers, and not one of them have been the way in which you describe above... even when they should be. My experience with Cancers is that they NEVER let go, of anything,... relationships, old junk, memories.... they have the memories of fracking elephants... especially if they were ever done wrong... they will stay in a relationship no matter what, and when and if they do finally leave... it is loooooong overdue.
In my experience, Cancers abandon in a different way... it's been touched on here and on several other tribes
( except the Cancer tribes... maybe i'll bring it up. And not get a response lol ).... they can't hang emotionally... the sensitivity they most definitely have, but not the depth.... when things get to heated, deep or dark for them they will retreat into their shells and not come back out until the coast is clear... leaving you all alone to deal with whatever it is. -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sat, June 27, 2009 - 10:47 PMeh, how do they abandon ? I mustve missed those threads -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Thu, July 2, 2009 - 11:50 AMThey abandon emotionally Coco........"they can't hang emotionally... the sensitivity they most definitely have, but not the depth.... when things get to heated, deep or dark for them they will retreat into their shells and not come back out until the coast is clear... leaving you all alone to deal with whatever it is."
The Cancers I have had experiences, friendships, and relationships with have a very definitive limit, emotionally... I never really felt that I could open up to them fully, if i get to dark or deep they pull a sort of (sticking fingers in the ears) *I can't hear you... I can't hear you..* kind of move....
They will abandon emotionally when they feel it's too much for them, as in not be there, as in you need someone there that you can trust and they hang an emotional do not disturb sign.... it's only temporary, and they may still be there physically... i swear to God, they never leave in that way... they will hold on for eternity... (if you would like examples.. i can give you plenty...)
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sun, June 28, 2009 - 3:48 AM>>>>>but not the depth.... when things get to heated, deep or dark for them they will retreat into their shells and not come back out until the coast is clear... leaving you all alone to deal with whatever it is. >>>>>>>>>>
Wow, thanks Stac, that's quite concerning. Cause I find Scorpios take that very well- my current bf is great at taking off my load when I have dark moments and in no way retreats when times get tough for me.
I admire him for that very much- that's one of his good traits so to speak..
I dunno.. isn't that what relationships are for? What good is someone if they retreat when things get dark for you?
hmmmm
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sat, June 27, 2009 - 2:16 PMwe do stuff like abandoning relationships for several reasons:
1. ego. we think we can do better--or we want to believe we can do better. our eyes roam a LOT more than we'd like to admit.
2. again, ego. we want the person to ask us back
3. we just aren't sure about the person
4. we are conservative... a relationship, particularly a very serious one, is a life altering event. we don't like change. we miss our past lives, pre-relationship.
5. we honestly want out.
could be anything... but a cancer leaving a relationship doesn't mean the cancer has let go; we never let go. -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sat, June 27, 2009 - 10:46 PMYea, I'm going to have to go with ego. and they think they can do better than you and yes their eyes DO roam alot regardless of what they admit to or not. ( us pisceans sniff that easily. Roaming in any fashion doesnt sit well with us)
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Thu, July 2, 2009 - 7:39 AMI've once fell for a cancer, fell head over the moon for this particular cancer. The chemistry between the two of us were magical, hard to distinguish the difference between the two of us because we went hand in hand instantly once interlocking eye contact. There were no need for the opposites to attract because we were as one! Everynight was like romatic love on the moon, but in reality it wasnt for eternity.
Often time a Cancer finds it's reflection in a Pisces and often times that Cancer may seek competition with that Pisces to diversify the two, seperate the two personalities to build a solid foundation of love for the two...By doing this, it may delapidate the relationship. As a natural attention getter, with the propencity to love freely and cling, the Pisces may overwhelm the Cancer by attracting all the attention to themself. Cancers seeks attention, I find them the most attention needing people in the world, and if not saught then they'll leave with no hesitation! In a relationship with a Pisces and Cancer, sometimes, at times, the Pisces should consider leaving space for cancer's needs, wants, emotions, and attention!
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Thu, July 2, 2009 - 12:50 PMI think all 3 water signs wimp out on the emotional hang as you put it, i've very recently seen a pisces just wimp out this way and perhaps it's more to do with her mental state and childhood but it sucks for me ......I think it's all or none with water signs , I think ... they want it all or nothing .... it's terrible when both people aren't on the same page and get selfish and have ulterior motives and such ..... -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Thu, July 2, 2009 - 2:15 PMLast night, I flipped out on my "booty call" if you will, because he was whining that I don't communicate with him enough or whatever..... hes an ex and a Cancer so I know what he was really saying was he feels neglected... but i didn't want to deal with it so i told him off and said if he can't handle it, I will find someone else..... just so he would shut up and give me what i want... There is a very good example of an emotional wimp out.... we all have our moments SynerGy.... God knows I do... especially lately...
what i'm talking about is more consistent though.... I have had enough Cancers that I have known very intimately that exhibited the same behavior when their confronted with certain emotions, even when it's their own....I'm trying to sum up every experience i've had and it's difficult right now... lets just say that the difference that i've noticed between the Cancers and Pisces and even Scorpios in my life is that no matter how how "weird", dark, or emotionally difficult, and even sexual the subject or issue, my Scorpios are not phased, it's like playing monopoly, my Pisces are fascinated and want to take it further, and my Cancers want to change the subject, leave the room, or say nothing at all......
Please don't get my wrong. I ADORE cancers I really do, the bond that I form with them is incredibly strong and hard to break.. I have a lot of Cancers in my life that are still there when everyone else is gone... but emotionally, I prefer a Pisces or even a Scorpio (although that sometimes doesn't work out, especially with Scorpio men) because when the going gets tough, Cancers get going into their shells, most will even admit this to an extent....... doesn't mean there "bad" or even "weak". We all have our weaknesses... it's just how they are.... -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Thu, July 2, 2009 - 3:14 PMI was married to a Cancer for a few years and yes everything you and others have been saying is spot-on ... she was a real emotional terrorist I would say and prone to violent behavior too .....I later found out she was diagnosed with bipolar and I think borderline personality disorder but i've also read and gathered that water signs tend to be pretty much innately bipolar in any case........ -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Thu, July 2, 2009 - 3:49 PMYeah, I'm cancer and I've been accused of being Bi polar before. I think the relationship thing is true also. I have finished every relationship I've ever been in, obviously apart from the present one. My best friend is cancer and she is the same. I think we can have a destructive streak and we can expect the absolute best from everyone. Then once they fail to live up to our expectations, we are gone.
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Fri, July 3, 2009 - 10:49 AMAll I know is that Pisces often get a bad rap for being loopy and not responsible. On the contrary, I feel its Cancer people that are so, followed by a close Scorpio. I think we're more verbal and willing to analyze a problem and talk about it then the other two water signs...at least the Pisces women are.
I met two Cancer men. After dancing with one, he grabbed my hand and said, "You're the one I'm going to marry". Riiiiggghhhttt. That's a great pickup line and one that would get someone straight to having a one night stand if anyone else is interested in using THAT line. The other Cancer lived up in San Francisco and said he would come to the OC to meet me, then started pouting in later conversations because I didnt offer to drop everything and run to him up there. He threw a tantrum on the phone and hung up on me.
Went to school with a cute Cancer and he would look at me like he wanted to say something, and when he didnt, I didnt try to break the ice. Afterwards he would look extremely annoyed when we were in the same circles.
I'm not bashing on Cancers, I just think that they have an inability to communicate effectively. -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Fri, July 3, 2009 - 4:29 PMI have a very hard time getting rid of Cancer. This applies to the males because I usually get along well with the females but the males, I can't shake off.
Then, I am an Aries Sun but I have a huge Pisces Moon in the Tenth House so maybe it is a mix of both - but we are mutually bad news.
So I have for policy never getting involved with a male Cancer, except as friend and even then. Fortunately, they are easy to recognize.
This is a bit of an unusual thread because it is reputedly hard to shake Cancer off. -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sat, July 4, 2009 - 5:47 AM..but I realize that the angle of the question may be different.
I got some that wanted to maintain a connection though it was not healthy and the reason was unclear. Probably emotional security,
Perhaps they need to be sure there is always a connection for old times sake or a leeway to come back again, just in case.
I am hypothetising and I am not a Cancer but emotional security appears paramount. It could be testing or it could be a final decision reached in emotional throes so she does not want to talk about it if she does not return.
They possibly want to make sure that you are "The one".
It is also possible that the Cancer person does not see clearly into his|her emotional stuff. Some don't and this is a sign that fluctuates with the phases of the moon but in the long run, I would say that some do. You must account for the entire chart.
Some of the men are run-arounds on an ecliptic trajectory (which means that they always show up again) while keeping a main woman at home according to Linda Goodman who added that they show up sometimes in time just to get kicked out.
Many remain single while pining for the perfect woman, in one case that I know that the guy had left himself because she already had a child.
I do not know how that pans out for the women. -
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Re: what are your thoughts on cancers leaving?
Sat, July 4, 2009 - 6:17 AMYes, a different angle.
I do not mean to trash Cancer because it did not work for me.
As a matter of fact, there was an Aries asking the same question on the Aries tribe about a Pisces woman leaving suddenly.
Maybe it is tied-in with the emotions of all water sign.
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